Posts Tagged ‘violence’

The occult of warrior Mars and royal Jupiter on 26th January will dominate the planetary motions in our heads, guts, backsides and wallets for the next six years. The official Citizen’s News astrologer Mr Ahasrahas analyses the implications of the above cosmic event to determine the extent to which we will get screwed in the […]


Violence does not make me laugh. Yet humour has not only survived nearly two and a half decades of exposure to violence, brutality, intolerance, discrimination, corruption and abuses of power, it has preserved my sensitivity and been a soft padding that shielded me from the hard blows of reality. It has been a key to […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – Our sources revealed that the Sri Lankan government was admitted to the proctology ward of the General hospital late last week after it complained about abdominal dysfunctions and severe pains in the butt. Leading British proctologist, Doctor Des Browne was pushed in to examine the government even before he was consulted. […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – With the drawn out military campaign against terrorism in its last phase, the Sri Lankan government has taken a decision to divert the country’s defence budget to fund science & technology, education and research. Economists point out that the move will power the Sri Lankan economy out of it’s recent set-backs […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – Sources of intelligence have warned that men with moustaches are a threat to national security in Sri Lanka. The elusive leader and his subordinates of the LTTE – also known as the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (now spelt as Ezham – apparently to confuse the advancing government forces) whose moustaches […]