Archive for the ‘satire’ Category

Colombo, Sri Lanka – The leader of the National Fiefdom Front (NFF) Mrs Wimala Weerahansa continued her farce unto death in front of the Unverified Notions (UN) office near Bulls road in Colombo yesterday – only God knows why. Large crowds were seen gathering at the scene and shouting insults at a Chinese man in […]


The occult of warrior Mars and royal Jupiter on 26th January will dominate the planetary motions in our heads, guts, backsides and wallets for the next six years. The official Citizen’s News astrologer Mr Ahasrahas analyses the implications of the above cosmic event to determine the extent to which we will get screwed in the […]


10 January 2010, Colombo, Sri Lanka – The government in an emergency press briefing today, announced that it will take steps to overhaul the national security strategy of the island. The government defence spokesman, Minister Kokila Bathalahitawanna admitted that a post-war review of the defence plan had exposed glaring gaps in the national security strategy […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – Officials investigating wacky behaviour in a large number of Sri Lankans that has escalated out of control since May this year have uncovered disturbing evidence, indicating that a significant majority of the population have been under the influence of illicit drugs for many years. Citizen’s News spoke to Mr Upul Amarakoon, […]


London, England – A new reality TV show titled “Diaspora Thalaivar” is taking over the streets of major western cities and causing major traffic jams and sanitary issues. Based on the reality TV franchise “Britain’s got Talent”, the new show scans the Sri Lankan Diaspora communities in the west to find a replacement for the […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – The Sri Lankan government today, condemed the British Police attack on unarmed Tamil civilians in London and called for an immediate cessation of hostilities. The foreign ministry here described the indiscriminate attacks on innocent Tamil Civilians in Britain as “appaling”, and urged Britain to uphold its obligations under UN conventions and […]


Colombo, Sri Lanka – The International Community is expressing its concern over the deaths of thousands of civilians including at least one hundred children who are caught between the crossfire as fighting raged between the Sri Lankan Armed Forces and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) an internationally proscribed terrorist outfit. In light of […]