Diaspora Thalaivar

25May09

thalaivar

London, England – A new reality TV show titled “Diaspora Thalaivar” is taking over the streets of major western cities and causing major traffic jams and sanitary issues. Based on the reality TV franchise “Britain’s got Talent”, the new show scans the Sri Lankan Diaspora communities in the west to find a replacement for the deceased Thalaivar of the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE).
The finalists were hand picked from thousands of aspiring Thalaivars at auditions held in Ottawa, Toronto, Sydney, Melbourne, Geneva, Oslo, Paris, South India and Frankfurt, to participate in the finals in London where the winner will be chosen after weeks of intense competition.
The British Foreign Secretary and Prime Ministerial hopeful David Milliband who heads the panel of judges was impressed but the quality of talent on display. “Some of them show a lot o potential, but they need grooming and encouragement to make it to the top” noted the foreign secretary. Insiders say he had personally asked one of the more promising candidates to give up annoying non-violent tactics like fasting (which got Thileepan killed in 1987) and adopt more heartless and mindless tactics if he intends to emulate the revered Thalaivar.
Contesters are judged on their ability to attack law-enforcement officers, cripple cities, disrupt economic activity, demand for ceasefires, attack peaceful civilians, money laundering, extortion and similar illegal activities.
The show is sponsored by illegal weapons smugglers, extortionists and a secret consortium of weapons manufacturers. “We are adopting a radically new approach to solving the Tamil national question”, their unofficial spokesperson, Selvarasa Pathmanathan (alias KP, alias Pukadena Kanagalingam) told reporters.
“Diaspora Thalaivar” will be telecast daily on all major news broadcasts and the winner will be chosen through a process that combines violent and not-so-violent means of elimination based on the interests of those who stand to gain by prolonging conflicts and destabilising key economic regions in the developing world.

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2 Responses to “Diaspora Thalaivar”

  1. total inaction of western governments ( the same west that were prone to preach human rights to us and talk about an alleged ‘culture of impunity’ here ) against these hate mongers and hate criminals is telling

  2. HA HA HA.!!! Good one…!


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