Sri Lanka urges Britain to honour humanitarian obligations



Colombo, Sri Lanka – The Sri Lankan government today, condemed the British Police attack on unarmed Tamil civilians in London and called for an immediate cessation of hostilities. The foreign ministry here described the indiscriminate attacks on innocent Tamil Civilians in Britain as “appaling”, and urged Britain to uphold its obligations under UN conventions and international humanitarian law.

An innocent Tamil civilian who recently migrated to London on humanitarian grounds told a reporter depressingly “apey Langawey hittiyath gutti thamai, Engaland hittiyath gutti thamai, kohe hittiyath apita thamai guti appa”. He was later lost in translation.

The tiny island nation also urged its former colonial rulers to allow Tamil civilians protesting in front of the British Parliament to abuse and attack British law enforcement officers with impunity, reminding Prime Minister Gordon Brown that it is the responsibility of a democratically elected government to provide equal rights and protection to both its law-abiding as well as law-breaking citizens.

Rohitha Bolligand, the Sri Lankan Minister of Foreign Affairs swore by Condoleezza Rice that he never really had any foreign affairs. He also mentioned that Britain will have to face the consequences of its attitude towards those who sympathize with the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) a mythical terrorist group thought to have originated in Sri Lanka and spread throughout the world. “We have told the Sri Lanka Tea Board that this is not the appropriate time to increase our tea exports to Britain” the minister said in an interview with the state Television this morning.

British Foreign Secretary David Milligollagama denied that he had any knowledge about the restriction of tea imports from Sri Lanka. “Indian and Kenyan tea will cause a humanitarian catastrophe in Britain” he told BeBusy. He also mentioned that “Exporters in Sri Lanka are struggling to keep prices high as a result of bumper yeilds” and assured that “negotiations are in their final stages”.


2 Responses to “Sri Lanka urges Britain to honour humanitarian obligations”

  1. Nice!

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