LTTE’s woes linked to chain letter

25Feb09

chainletter

Colombo, Sri Lanka – Confessions of a Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam (LTTE) intelligence operative who handed himself over to the advancing forces of the Sri Lankan Army has revealed startling information that may explain the reason behind the terror outfit’s recent debacles. According to the former terrorist and future prospect for Chief Minister of the Western Province, the massive military setbacks suffered by the LTTE in recent years may have been caused by bad luck, brought about by the leader of its political wing, P Nadesan (alias Padasami Hari Gandeshwaran) deleting chain letters without forwarding them.

“Our former political chief always made sure that he forwarded every chain email he got, so our organisation prospered”, observes the former child soldier of the LTTE who cannot be named because he insists that “Gnanapragasam can never be spelled properly in English”. “One day, our former political chief accidentally deleted a chain letter and the next thing we knew – a bunker-buster from the Sri Lankan Air Force ‘accidentally’ exploded on his head!” he revealed.

Such unfortunate experiences have made the organisation realise over the years that the threats mentioned in chain-letters should be taken very seriously. Nadesan had been cautioned and advised to forward chain letters several times by the head of the LTTE Intelligence wing, Poddu Amman. It is believed that the LTTE hierarchy had not taken Poddu seriously and in fact made fun of him and fired him from his position last year calling him a mad man, but his fears have been substantiated in recent weeks and months.

It has now been revealed that Nadesan is taking every possible step to undo his mistakes. In a desperate last minute ditch to turn back the fortunes of the association, Nadesan recently forwarded his favorite chain letter titled “Send this to at least 5 people if you want a ceasefire” as his predecessors had done with rich dividends many times before. The Sri Lanka government spokesperson said it was ‘hillarious’, but it was difficult to confirm whether he was actually laughing or even smiling because of his beard.

Despite the government’s scepticism, the LTTE’s fortunes took a slight upward turn soon after the letter was forwarded, when the European Union forwarded it back to the government and a US Foreign Relations Committee conducted a hearing on chain letters, spam email and phishing scams in Sri Lanka. Our sources in government reveal now, that they are not so amused after all.

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One Response to “LTTE’s woes linked to chain letter”

  1. hahahaahah…..nice!


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